Try not to fall apart.

In searching for perfection, one should stop and think instead.
In searching for affection, most would probably lose their head.
When looking for a meaning, you should begin within the heart.
If you're lost from all the searching, try not to fall apart.
At a time in which you're yearning, it's okay to stay inside.
However despite what you are thinking, it's not the best for one to hide.

unable.

unable to learn
unable to sleep
unable to focus
or admit my defeat
unable to wake
from this beautiful dream
unable to shake
what has happened to me
unable to think
anything less of all this
unable to take
items off of my list
unable to breathe
when your mind is around
i can read what you're thinking
like you said out loud
unable to remember
what had happened before
unable to leave
my own thoughts at the door
unable to sing
unable to act
unable to bring
unable to laugh
unable to see exactly the truth
i want to just gravitate,
closer to you..
unable to fight the feeling for now
unable to search for the meaning of how
unable to feel the pain here inside
unable to run, for instead i just hide..

A drug for the user.

as wrong as it seems, I feel like I'm weak..
I'm addicted to you, though we never do speak.
that one text you sent me, gives me meaning this week.
And one more thing for my mind to trace.

Like a drug for the user,
you are my abuser,
the reason for all that I do.
And whether there ever is never a chaser...

I'll still take the dosage of you.

Blackout.

I wasn't upset,
if I was I forgot..
The state I was in reflects substances bought.

Rewinding my day to make all things alright,
and piecing together my being.

This constant black blur that prefaces falls,
makes decisions I make seem like nothing at all.

It's a never ending fate that is beyond no return,
and at some point I think you should stop me.

Hours, they quickly float by in my mind,
and then days will go past and they're no where to find.

I'm constantly missing many parts of my life,
and it's beginning to become now my standard.

Someday from now I may wish something else,
perhaps I may want to know how I felt..
or maybe I'll say that it wasn't enough...
and I would do it all over,

with no changes.

old, and new.

old friends, new life
lost love, less time
new memories, old home
same story, more grown
blue skies, white clouds
new smiles, old frowns
cherished moments,
new framed minds.
broken hearts and
brightened lives.
new rewards, old reviews
same instinct, with none to do
long lost smiles,
and new found cries
past time battles
and same old lies.
lustful leaps,
bliss-full nights
heart warm meals
in beautiful sights.