Far too long.

It's been far too long since a word was said, since a song was heard, since a letter read.

Simply Just Me.

I haven't had much to say lately,
but i guess that that's probably because there's isn't really much to see.
But more recently I have had a wave come over my life,
and it has really changed things...

I see colors more vibrantly.
I hear music more clearly.
I read conversations without ponder.
I answer love songs with a reply.

Sure. None of it makes sense.
But whoever liked making sense anyway...

It was always more fun to run away with the bad influences.
Lose yourself in the drugs.
Sway to the music in a blaring crowd.
Fall in love with a passing face.
What kind of progress have I made?
Well that depends on what you find productive.

I'm in love with my life right now.
I've made progress. I've painted lines.
I have exchanges with others that I would have never hoped to have accomplished.

I have danced on the silent stage.
I don't need approval from the people that don't matter.
I don't need approval from you.

I'm not looking for some kind of restitution.
I am fine with the passing time.

I've always been one to find beauty in sorrow.
To always change with the changing pace..

I don't want to fall behind the mindless bother,
of someone who does nothing but hate.

I am so beyond the small place I once lived.
Scary sometimes how much I have changed.

And whether or not I did things the way they were planned,
you can't change what has happened to date.

I miss the feeling of being out of control.
I don't like running my schedule with time.

SO when you're willing to run away and leave it behind,
I'm hoping you know where I'll be.

I'm lost in confusion. Which makes way too much sense.
I'm always planning for something within reach,

I can't remember the last time I could write without thought.
Could say something without being judged.

But for now, here is this.
Here is me.
Always true.
I am living for no one but me.

And as time passes by I have no desire to be........Anything but simply just me.

Fairytale Land

Another old one. I am really surprising myself with my writing abilities. Especially since I don't remember writing any of them, it's kind of nice :)

It’s almost as if everything were to happen, but for no reason at all, other than just to be. It’s like my world is surrounded by all these people who don’t care, and the ones that do, are lacking in numbers. A constant reminder is in the back of my head that I’m never going to be perfect, and that what I seek to be will not be reached by any depths of my imagination. All for the simple fact that no matter how hard I try I cannot satisfy anyone else in this world. And that is not to say that I care whether or not you think I am adequate enough for you, for your friends or for your lifestyle.

In a sense being satisfied with yourself is enough to a certain extent, but it is inevitable that at some point acceptance must be reached to move on and grow in this thing we call life. I strive to be something I am not, because that's what I feel is necessary, and what I want, I don’t know anyway so what’s the use. Everywhere I turn it is this whirlwind of events that all prevent my life from just moving forward, I haven’t seen a single day go by where something doesn’t cause me to take a step back and wonder what I’m doing wrong.

It seems like I can’t do anything right and although I try to solve these problems I face to my best ability I fail time and time again. The majority of my life that has been lived so far has taught me things I never wanted to learn, ones I never wanted to experience, ones I never thought I would have to. The surroundings I’m faced with are not ones in which I am accompanied by with any great pleasure, these in fact most of the time do nothing but damper my day and cause me to struggle at moving on.

Most of the time I find myself wishing to grow up get out and be something different, and it’s what at times seems to dominate the majority of my thinking. The rest of the time is spent wanting to stay in this shelter land forever, and to never have to seek my own understanding. And here I am... I guess in a way somewhat, stronger. Somewhat better. Somewhat different. Here I stand nothing more and nothing less than yesterday. The same Chelsea which, half of the world hates.

In the end it’s a matter of this simple thing, there may be half that hate me, there may be a majority who have plots set in place to tear me apart, ruin me. But there is always the half that loves me. Believe it or not. There will always be the numbers who make my day better, and make me smile a little more than they make me cry, those who make me feel more like a person than a thing. The ones that don’t make it seem like I can’t do anything right. Those who understand. Those who maybe will care, for the simple desire to do so.

Perhaps there will be a day where I am completely and entirely satisfied with my world around me, and maybe things will work out for the better, like things are supposed to. It all comes down to a matter or perspective, a matter of wrong and right, and a matter of the differences you have no choice but to endure.

It’s the way you see things, the way you hear things, the way you choose to live your life. The eyes that see things bright and clean will portray an image that is complex yet simple, an image that brings understanding and happiness, an image that brings change. The eyes that see danger dark and worry will experience nothing but the same for there is nothing else to see. The heart that beats slowly, calmly and carefully, will lead to a happy ending in the fairy tale we are captured inside, and the hearts that are hurting, the hearts that are black, have no choice but to dwell in their misery, until they seek the light and realize the beauty.

Lead the Way

I wrote this about 4 years ago, I stumbled across it when looking through my myspace posts. It's not the best but I think it's interesting to see where my poetry all started. Enjoy

not trying to be selfish
for now is not the time
but who and what was warning
and where and when was I?
Indications far from missing
and publications soon found lost
will i find in what im looking
will i be in what ive lost
is there meaning behind the words i write
is there a future path planned out
is it worth it leaving all behind
a goal not well thought out
a future stands before us and a
past just lies behind.
where will it once soon find me
and will i be counting time?
is there a method to this madness
is there a reason for all the stains
is there a moment this will settle
is there a treatment to ease the pain
i find it hard to state the truth
to find meaning in whats been lost
impossible to feel the difference and
the things that happen most
I wonder why things happen fast
and they never stick around
why todays stories fade with the winds and sky
and the pictures are all that is found
is there a hope for all of humanity
to soon mend the helping hands
is there a secret hidden among us
in the stars and oceans sands
is there a prayer out there to save us
and light a path to find the way
will there be someone out there
someday
to finally lead the way?

I'm Ready

I am confused on this day as to where exactly I am headed right now.

And that doesn't go to say that this is a new contemplation. The path in which my life is following has always been largely swayed, uneven, hidden and full of obstacles; just like everyone else in the world.

But today, I am feeling very unprepared. I feel like a hunter who's been sent out without a bow and arrow. A surgeon without an assistant. A drug addict who has just run out of his fix.

It's not that I don't know which fork in the road to take, it's that I don't see the fork at all. I don't see any indication of where I am headed.

I am being bombarded with change after change in my life, and more than ever before these changes are becoming overwhelming. I suppose I am thankful for the ability I have to sort through images in my mind and place them all on paper to analyze. However, right now even viewing all my options concretely is leading me astray.

I wonder if this is because I took a wrong turn somewhere behind me, and now I am dealing with the consequences. However, an occasion like that should not affect me to this matter, because I know that the decisions, whether wrong or right, that are behind me.. The turns I have chosen to take along this windy road, can not be changed now that I am farther down the line.

So then what is it? What is making me so unsure, so blind to the direction I am going?

I suppose I won't know. I suppose I will just have to keep walking, keep taking in what's around me and continue to search for cues that will indicate where exactly I am headed in the future.

As a rule, I tend to insist on never dwelling on the past, or planning for the future. I am a strong advocate of living in the present. Then why is it that today, I can't seem to shake the worry of my destiny? I would like to think it's because something big is about to happen, or perhaps something small. But regardless of the size, I believe that the impact will be life changing.

Why else would I be stressing to this degree? Some being is preparing me for something. So hey, whoever, whatever, or which ever thing you are.

I'm ready.

That's all for now....

Creating an Annoyance

Creating an annoyance out of things that don't exist.
Stuck inside this whirlwind, wondering how things came to this.
Seeing people change like the past was all a lie.
Sitting here just waiting for another pointless fight.
I'm left thinking way too much about the troubles on my mind,
and the more I sit and think, the more disturbances I find.
If the things you say are true, then why am I stuck with all this mess.
I've been here to see the things you do, and every time I think you less.
It's hard to sit here and acknowledge the best time's we've ever had.
Cause more often now I think of you, and it just always makes me sad.

Without a trace.

If I could tell you that I love you,
I would say what's on my mind.
If I could close my eyes and see you,
my bed would never leave my side.
If I could do nothing but just hold you,
a smile would never leave my face.
And if I could I could admit that I adore you,
my past would leave without a trace.

Couldn't find a difference.

Here is where I find myself,
I run through what's on my mind.
Here is where I pass the time,
when nothing else feels right.

The wind it passes, slowly by.
The waves are crashing slow.
The little birds that float on by,
they act like nothing's new.

I contemplate what's wrong and right,
I listen to my heart.
I realize what I need to learn,
and where exactly I should start.

I don't care what is around me,
or the time that's on the clock.
I don't listen to the other sounds,
or care if other people watch.

All I know, is that something's right
when I sit here just like this.
I watch as the water approaches shore
and with that the Earth will kiss.

What I learn right here will change me,
if for better or if for worse.
But like the vows that people hold,
I will hold on tight to this.

The Earth is changing, and so am I.
You will always find trouble where it lies.
But if you look long enough you will soon then see,
you couldn't find a difference if you tried.

Haunting Life.

Sometimes, the dreams from the night before will haunt me throughout the day. Sometimes when I wake in the morning I will open my eyes and forget about all the things I will have to face that day. Most of the time, that will be the cause of me rolling over to go to sleep. Not because I am tired, no, see I am a morning person. Wake me up, and I'm ready to go. But when all of sudden reality is just too much to tolerate anymore, who in their right mind would ever want to stay awake? But then, there's the days that my dreams frighten me, or make me think of things I don't want to think about. People I want to forget, situations that have come to haunt me, decisions that I wish I could still change. Or then there's the places that don't even make sense, houses that no longer stand, people that no longer live, rooms that could never exist in the real world. And then I awake not only confused with why my reality has become so complex, but also with the question as to why my mind also continues to mess with me along with reality. It's almost like I'm living in a blur, all day and all night. I sleep to get away from reality, I wake to run from the nightmares. And all day long safe from everyone else, even my mind is running wild. Telling me I'm doing the wrong thing, questioning each and everything I do, I've done, I am about to do. I'm so lost in time right now I don't even know if there is a way to find my way out. Today, I will walk around campus with the images from my mind last night, I will ponder their meaning, I will shift around storylines, I will run the scenes through my head a million times. And I will discuss moving plans, and house situations and deal with a million people who can hardly control their own lives, let alone help me with mine. And at the end of the day, when I am exhausted from all of this, then I will do it all over again. And hopefully if I do this long enough, one day when I wake up I will feel relieved, happy, content. I will be happy with the sweet dreams of the evening before, I will be excited to start another day. I will be waiting for that.....I'll let you know when I get there.

Hold inside.

I'd like to say I found a distraction,
but I'm not that good of a liar.
I'd like to say that it all was worth it,
but it hurt like a heart on fire.
I would love to say you made a difference,
but if you did, it wasn't good.
I would like to think that you didn't mean it,
and I would forget it if I could.
After all we've been through, nothing's changed.
You never really cared.
After all the nights and constant lies.
The hole inside is still there.

Struck with Silence.

Struck with silence for my feelings. 
Lost in doubt beneath it all. 
And I want to say just something, 
but I'm too scared to make the call. 
I've tried to keep my distance,
I have tried to keep my cool. 
But I am stuck here in this worry,
and the burden's rather cruel. 
I think back to when this started,
when I lost control of time. 
When your world became my oyster, 
and my poems never rhymed. 
I remember it was easy, how
the words would flow like water. 
I remember to be patient, 
if I don't things will get harder. 
I remember he would see me, 
like nothing mattered in the world. 
I just remember thinking, 
"I wouldn't let go, if I ever could"..
Although this makes life better, 
and my hands are free for now. 
As long as things go on like this,
I'd much rather keep things sound. 
It's hard for me to let the wall around me finally fall. 
It's hard for me to bring myself around to face it all. 
It's hard for me to hide my mind, to not speak my love to you. 
But while you're thinking about the truth, I'll be here thinking of you. 

Actually Last...

How am I ever to find the thing,
that makes things different.
That makes things change.
When all I want.. right here, right now.
Is something different, a brand new sound.
I can't explain how all this feels,
it's something crazy, but so surreal.

I can't put to words how it changes me,
if you were a stranger, what would you see?
A different girl, now all around.
These little elements seem so profound.

I can't keep up with the changing pace,
now even fast enough to find a trace.
Of what made me different, here, today.
What made me change my everlasting fate..
What brought me here to this empty room,
What lead me into what seems like doom.
What exactly was it that caused this path,
and was there ever anything that could actually last?

Tomorrow's alway's near.

Looking for some solitude among this gloomy day.
As I walk along the beach front,
I've got nothing much to say.

The sun is brightly shinning,
and there's people all around.
But nothing really matters,
and nobody makes a sound.

I've done a lot of thinking lately,
but nothing like today.
I'm searching for what's in my head for something right to say.

I'm finally feeling better,
and it feels like years since then.
I'm done making my conclusions,
and I'm quite done with asking "when"..

I'm growing fond of what's around me,
quite content with where I stand.
I don't care about the falling,
and I don't care about where I land.

If it's life that gets me going, well, I should probably run from here.
There's no use in fighting the future, for tomorrow's always near.

I feel the warmth around me,
and I don't question where it's from.
I just smile and remind myself that my trouble's now long gone.

The ocean waves have calmed my soul,
and reminded me of nature.
How nothing ever looked the same,
how the sky was never clearer.

The melody of wind chimes that will cross along the land,
the whisper of the butterflies that fly around my head.

The quiet in the moonlight, the silence by the stream.
The cooing of a mother who's daughter wants to scream.
The two will walk together, she now calming her little one.
And a mother's intuition will then send her troubles gone.

I will always miss the mountains,
but the ocean works for now.
I am loving where I'm sitting,
I love that no one makes a sound.

If it's life that gets me going, well, I should probably run from here.
There's no use in fighting the future, for tomorrow's always near.

Nightmares in an Empty Bed.

In an empty bed I find myself, quite lost behind the wall.
Unable to just bring myself around to face it all.
I'm broken-hearted, sad, confused, I don't know what there is to do.
And outside this house are loud remarks that remind me of that too..
I remember a day when I never cared about warmth while I had slept..
The days were simple, nights were long, and I always had my rest.
But now I sit here, as hours pass, with no progress on my plate.
And I worry that this will always be my everlasting fate.
Around me is love, now all around, and it's hard to find a change.
I know that time will heal the rest, but I somehow feel ashamed.
I wish I had a moment, just a speck of what others have..
To keep my thoughts inside, and never let them know that I am sad.
Sitting here in silence, I've grown quite eerie of sounds.
The simple clicks and unknown steps that always are around.
I think about how someone could maybe feel the same way too,
and I wonder if they've told someone the words of "I love you".
I toss and turn for hours, I think way more than any should.
And when I finally fall asleep, well, my dreams are never good.
I wake inside a panic, and then I shake myself to sane.
I wipe the sweat and calm myself, only to repeat it all again.
It's becoming rather normal, with my pounding empty heart.
I remind myself now constantly to try not to fall apart.
The mornings leave me tired, with the images of fear.
I wake quickly to forget all that always happens while I'm here.
I live my days more freely, able to ignore what's all around.
But when nighttime falls I find myself still scared of all the sounds.
I pray that someday maybe, a pleasant dream will come my way..
Or maybe that there's something that will scare the night away.
Until my better knowledge, you'll still find me here, alone.
And the dark circles in the morning, will be all I ever show.

I'm better now because,

I wonder if he reads this,
and thinks it's 'bout him still.
I wonder if he wonders,
though the thought leaves me no thrill.
I wonder if he's different,
though he's probably still the same.
I know that he's delinquent,
always playing stupid games.
It's funny how I wondered,
if he ever really cared.
It's funny that I told myself,
"of course he's always cared"...
It's stupid how long it took me,
to remove his power trip.
It's a relief it only took me,
four fucking years to free his grip.
And looking back I wonder,
if I ever thought at all.
I'm looking forward hoping,
I will never get a call.
I know that it's no use
to hope that he has changed.
But somewhere still inside me,
locked in pieces won't arrange.
I'm glad I'm at this point,
ignoring all that ever was.
I've learned that there's no use,
and I'm better now because.

Your race.

No words to describe how I'm feeling,
for I don't think there's a word for all this...
No thoughts to explain how it's hurting,
though I sit here each day and just wish.

I wait for the moment,
when you'll feel the same way.
You'll glace over to me,
and know just what to say...
My thoughts will then simmer,
my mind will relax.
My heart slowly throbbing...
The moment will pass..

I'll find myself here,
where I started back then.
Continually wishing,
here we go once again...
I wonder if time will bring light to this fog.
I wonder if someday I will finish a song..
I question surroundings,
I watch my own back.
Think twice before choosing,
never miss what I lack.

I have begun to admit I don't have any clue.
I don't know where I'm searching,
I just know I want you.

If you only could see what I have in my heart..
A big open space, that's now tearing apart.
I wonder if someday you'll fill that whole space.
Or if I'll constantly be here,
still last place in your race.

Cliche

If home is where the heart is,
I will take it as I go.
If the grass is always greener,
then I guess I'll never know.
If what goes around comes back around,
I'll be awaiting your return.
And if time will only tell,
I will always have something to learn.
If a friend of yours is a friend of mine,
I will never run out of love to find.
If you're lost from all the "do or die",
just look up towards the sky.

Happiness.

Pretty pictures, and happy tunes,
amazing vibes, and bright blue skies..
All comes to bring a smiling face,
a mended heart, a falling grace.
A memory captured, here in my heart,
to keep in case I fall apart.
I ask you this: can you capture it?
It runs away, and never sits.
It's small but somehow comes along..
It's the rythym in music that creates the song.
It's the aspect we thrive for, day and night.
It's the reason we constantly win all our fights.
It's the simplest thing, but holds the largest reward.
It's contagious for many, and leaves us yearning for more.
The day has been beautiful, while memories last,
before we all know it, the time will have passed.
And you'll hold on to this as the pictures do fade:
all along it was happiness that kept us all sane.

enjoy it

They say a picture speaks a thousand words,
but a memory can serenade forever..

While the suns on your face and the the last moon behind,
you must appreciate beauty in what you may find.

For nature and city with friends and your peers
will continue to move you, for all of your years.

With an image in time, a frame in your mind,
a photograph fades while the heart will remind.

You can try to capture what is coming your way,

but your better off trying to enjoy it.

willing to argue..

Surrounded by loves ones,
gifted with time,
upset about reality..
But choosing to lie.
Enjoying my rhythm,
replacing regret,
I'm willing to argue,
it's been heaven sent.
Astonished with color,
rewarded with lights,
a beauty so simple,
it replicates life.
A journey worth millions,
a lesson learned well,
a way to say thank you,
and try not to yell.
Warm feeling inside me,
my heart skips a beat,
I'm over the struggle,
admitting defeat.
The power you counter,
is capturing me,
the feeling you give me,
is easy to see.
I'm succumbing to pressure,
relaxing my thoughts,
I'm willing to show you
all the things I've been taught.
At ease you will find me,
mesmerized at the sky,
reflecting on lessons
I've now learned in my life.
Concluding in effort to urge you the same,
I'm now willing to show you,
...life is not just a game.

alone.

on my own and slowly falling
trying to find the pieces broken
wanting a piece that isn't showing
and looking too hard to find

wondering why things are this way
is something I did?
or something i said?
was it somewhere along the road to here..
was it something i passed on by..

did you find me broken in this place,
did you race me here now, face to face.
did you realize that something had been..
misplaced?
did you want to come here and help me

i'm lost inside with no return
i don't have a desire to feel your yearn..
i don't want to go if you don't want to learn
BUT i don't want to be alone for now.

its hard just knowing that it all has changed
that the world i knew has been rearranged
that the friends i made don't feel the same
and that the plans i had are failing

it's odd to know that nothing lasts
that things your learn aren't written facts
that the people we meet will pass us by
and nothing will last forever

Try not to fall apart.

In searching for perfection, one should stop and think instead.
In searching for affection, most would probably lose their head.
When looking for a meaning, you should begin within the heart.
If you're lost from all the searching, try not to fall apart.
At a time in which you're yearning, it's okay to stay inside.
However despite what you are thinking, it's not the best for one to hide.

unable.

unable to learn
unable to sleep
unable to focus
or admit my defeat
unable to wake
from this beautiful dream
unable to shake
what has happened to me
unable to think
anything less of all this
unable to take
items off of my list
unable to breathe
when your mind is around
i can read what you're thinking
like you said out loud
unable to remember
what had happened before
unable to leave
my own thoughts at the door
unable to sing
unable to act
unable to bring
unable to laugh
unable to see exactly the truth
i want to just gravitate,
closer to you..
unable to fight the feeling for now
unable to search for the meaning of how
unable to feel the pain here inside
unable to run, for instead i just hide..

A drug for the user.

as wrong as it seems, I feel like I'm weak..
I'm addicted to you, though we never do speak.
that one text you sent me, gives me meaning this week.
And one more thing for my mind to trace.

Like a drug for the user,
you are my abuser,
the reason for all that I do.
And whether there ever is never a chaser...

I'll still take the dosage of you.

Blackout.

I wasn't upset,
if I was I forgot..
The state I was in reflects substances bought.

Rewinding my day to make all things alright,
and piecing together my being.

This constant black blur that prefaces falls,
makes decisions I make seem like nothing at all.

It's a never ending fate that is beyond no return,
and at some point I think you should stop me.

Hours, they quickly float by in my mind,
and then days will go past and they're no where to find.

I'm constantly missing many parts of my life,
and it's beginning to become now my standard.

Someday from now I may wish something else,
perhaps I may want to know how I felt..
or maybe I'll say that it wasn't enough...
and I would do it all over,

with no changes.

old, and new.

old friends, new life
lost love, less time
new memories, old home
same story, more grown
blue skies, white clouds
new smiles, old frowns
cherished moments,
new framed minds.
broken hearts and
brightened lives.
new rewards, old reviews
same instinct, with none to do
long lost smiles,
and new found cries
past time battles
and same old lies.
lustful leaps,
bliss-full nights
heart warm meals
in beautiful sights.

positive thinking.

positive thinking,
love-hearted vibes,
a strive to stay simple
when nothing seems right.
an up-hill long battle,
a fight for the win,
a smile for others,
a cover for sins.

damn content.

pretty damn content
this is all now heaven sent
trying to keep my pace in time
and won't let all things defeat me

pretty damn alright
no desire to win this fight
where and when the clock will say
it's like my dreams deceive me

life, in space will not erase
what has come to haunt me
time and space has made me face
beyond where my eyes, they could see

free.

love life aside
trouble ahead
life on my mind
things here instead
i find myself lost
stuck here behind
i find myself lost
trying to hide
i can't help but think
this isn't ok
i can't help but wish
you would come here for me
i don't know why, here.
you've done this to me
i can't help but know
this isn't for free.

"The Best"

You were wrong about the rumors,
you were wrong about the past.
You were wrong about my future,
and that things would never last.
You were wrong about my feelings,
my intentions of it all.
You were wrong about who'd be there..
when I finally made the fall.
You were wrong about the evenings,
that I never would "forget".
You were wrong about yourself...
"I'm the best you'll ever get"

a letter i'll never send.

a letter i'll never send
on a night i'll never sleep
a feeling i'll never kick
and a person i'll never meet
a thing i'll always do
and a fight i'll never win
a thing i'll always want
and a night i'll never grin
a touch i'll never get
in a way i'll never have
a thought i'll always fight
even though it's never bad

Magnet.

magnet, attraction.
beauty, defeat.
it's something about you,
weak in my knees..

a simple request to attend what you may,
a simple retreat to forget what you say.

40 years ago.

Forty years ago, man was fascinated by a lightbulb.
10 years later, a still portrait frame.
And although that moment took many to capture,
the delight was all the same.

A few years later they found a virus,
killing loved ones fast and strong,
and as time went on, we found a cure
..and life could move along.

Twenty years had gone on by..
and time had turned to fade,
along with certain, given truths,
that we all had come to train.

Expectations were not much,
other than the sun to rise.
And every so often without a doubt,
the moon would run and hide.

They found names for things that hadn't
had a meaning to us before..
And they began to slowly realize,
why the ocean met the shore.

Life was simply simple,
pain was done about.
Simple knowledge was something ..
that most could live without.

10 years ago we celebrated a turning of a time,
a breakthrough in technology,
a new year,
a million lives.

Time now moving quickly,
and all things now fly ahead.
When at one time people gathered,
now with a computer they sat instead.

They forgot about the beauty
that the world has for us to hold.
They forgot about the stories
our great-grandparents once had told.

They forgot that life was simple,
before a microsoft.
They forgot that things aren't endless
and in time they will top off.

They found a way to make it
a little longer than before.
They found a way to utilize
how the ocean meets the shore.

The people didn't realize
life wasn't better than before.
No one wanted nature..
when they could have an iPhone 4.

Sunsets went unnoticed,
and weather day to day,
no one stopped and thought about
where we would stand today.

5 years ago I began to notice
all these things above.
How the sky is blue,
the sea not green,
as I tried my way with love..

I found myself in worry
about what it is that I should do.
I would live within a hurry
and take one breath, instead of two.

Next thing I knew, just months ago.
I moved away from home.
I found myself even more confused
as to where that I should go..

With open eyes, I realized,
my troubles were not so.
That what I once had troubled myself,
was never how I had shown.

Life, within this universe,
is larger than us all.
It doesn't matter who you are,
what we do,
or how much tall.

The stars that light our cities.
The moon that passes by.
The strangers that walk next to us,
never saying hi.

The delicacy in colors.
The shapes of all the clouds.
The way without a simple thought,
we all are in a crowd.

Yesterday, I looked back at this,
and wondered why I'm here.
Why the matter we find among this Earth,
had made me face my fear.

The good and bad within my life,
flawless to the world.
The things I get caught up inside,
I should use them as my shield.

Sitting here, now writing this.
I watch people passing by.
I know they wonder why I'm here,
and if I know the time.
I smile soft and think inside
that things will be okay.
And maybe, someday, someone soon,
will learn to seize the day...

They'll look back & remember what it's like
not to stare into a screen.

They'll walk outside without that junk
and listen to the birds that sing.

If I could I would go back in time,
to a time before us all.
I would warn the people as they walk,
that the world may soon now fall.

I would tell them to embrace the beauty
of a simple sunny day,
and that no matter what to live as though,
today is their last day.

My advise to you is to listen clear,
live content, away from fear.

Stop worrying now about what tomorrow may bring,
and never be afraid to dance and sing.

Years in my life.

years in my life
impatient i was
wanted to leave there
had to move on
years in my life
i wont understand
just how much precious
this life really is
college is different
time moves on fast
the people are timeless
and the friendships don't last
the minds are all blurry
the attitudes fade
the rumors are endless
new ones each day
years in my life
i spent there with you
we laughed and we romanced
we did what we do
years in my life
i made you my friend
you moved to my bestest
my partner in crime
without you beside me
i nearly do cry
now years in my life
i sit here and think
had things have been different
would i float or then sink
years in my life
i learned here and there
that it really doesn't matter
about your shoes or your hair
what does matter is friendship
family and faith
what matters is memories
and your place within fate.

The colors of sound.

Life, aside from a set of values, is a crazy landscape full of truly amazing people, places, sights, and sounds. Embrace the beauty around you, perceive your world abstractly, live within the moment, seize the day, and smell the flowers.


Coming soon: http://thecolorsofsound.tumblr.com/

A sunny delight.

wind on our face,
grass at our feet.
fate could be kind,
if the sun didn't heat.
ocean nearby,
and clouds closing in.
we were told to be careful,
and never to sin.
light in my eye,
faith in my heart.
knowledge they taught me,
just where to start.
decisions here made,
and life now begun.
things i do see,
are now part of the fun.
a glow in my passion,
a fight to do right.
a thought for the effort,
a sunny delight.

Follow the Light: 2011

As time has passed and moved away ..
We have lost our grasp on what's "today".
I have found myself confused with dates,
decided that you cannot choose my fate..

Made decisions that made some hearts reverse.
Made words into sequences, that formed a verse...

A year ahead, a year behind,
unsure of what we all may find..
2011.. a year of truth,
the last of which will house my youth.
Decisions now to change my path...
to make things right, but still relax.
To look back and see where things went wrong,
to realize we could have got along..

The truth of what we all can do,
is nothing more and nothing new..
Here, in us, we have a light.
it's up to you just how much bright..
This light will lead us toward good things..
and show us just how much we bring
to the world we all are in
and to the one's who house our grins.

Embracing this will repent the fear,
fight the dark, remove our tears..
And it doesn't take more than believing it so..
following urges when told where to go.
A simple light, a effortless move,
a thing you take, and choose to do.

No complicated thought or words of song.
No book to decide when we move along.
Just positive thoughts to fight the bad
and having loved ones around to hide the sad..

2011 is here for change.
Embrace the world for what it may..
Make the choice to make things good,
ignore the bad, remove the hood..
Live as if it is your last,
and realize that time will move on fast..
Don't lose your mind when things are hard..
look in and out, or near and far..

Light of love and push of faith,
create your world without the hate.
Now's the time to make the change,
No regrets, just rearrange.




Inspired by Veronica Bruce

EARNED

In a world where nothing is free for all,
we've been found inside some short and tall.
Cut short in those which who are hard to find,
and tall besides the one's who hide.
Inside this world I've found some truth,
that nothing should try and spoil your youth.
That somedays you raise above the clouds,
while others you fall and become the crowd.
It's clear, for now, that all around...
People are near, but make no sound.
Societies been lost, no where to be found.
And that sometimes you scream, for all, aloud.
In a world where nothing can make much sense,
and we've found ourselves, ruining time we've spent.
Where we lost our minds so long ago, and after sometime..
we still won't know where to go.
Too far to move back, and too far to move foward..
and after all aspects, too lazy to move onward.
Uneducated now, with no desire to learn.

It's time to sit back and recieve what we earned.

runaway...

ears are buzzing, music flys.
time is moving, passing by.
life is running, living high.
find what's right within you.

rumors move, and storys pass.
races end, and friendships last.
time is running, moving fast.
remove the ones who hurt you.

loved ones fade, and people die.
hardships come, and trouble made..
though love and hate are not the same,
they both can come to hurt you.

runaway from what you may,
make things better, here, today.
watch all the things that you may say...

find all the power within you..

ethics.

Hungry for revenge, retribution, and hate; assuming humanity would not lead me innate. Proportinate punishment, unjustified fate, blind side of killing, stealing, escape....Ethics has taught me one thing if in this, the board doesn't teach, and the subject has skipped. The concepts here taught are not remotely inside. Their minds still intact, and the knowledge ahide. Emotions here driven and consequently missed points..In this case you showed me karma ultimately rejoiced. Irrational processes used to fight back, but fate has my side while I improve what I lack...

when saying hi...

what time has planned, and fate can see.
what god has made, a sea of green.
the Earth: our canvas...an empty fold.
this life: not endless...all truths we hold.

be strong in what you choose to do,
make all old feel like brand new.
forget regret, and live today.
watch what you do, and what you say..

be cautious as time is flashing by.
don't think twice, when saying hi..

end of parole.

when trust becomes destant and love becomes lust.
when you question the things that were never a "must"
when eyes were placed forward, and never behind..
when the stab was behind us, and pain not inside.
when they created a way to not lose the control..
when the night became day and the end of parole.