Haunting Life.

Sometimes, the dreams from the night before will haunt me throughout the day. Sometimes when I wake in the morning I will open my eyes and forget about all the things I will have to face that day. Most of the time, that will be the cause of me rolling over to go to sleep. Not because I am tired, no, see I am a morning person. Wake me up, and I'm ready to go. But when all of sudden reality is just too much to tolerate anymore, who in their right mind would ever want to stay awake? But then, there's the days that my dreams frighten me, or make me think of things I don't want to think about. People I want to forget, situations that have come to haunt me, decisions that I wish I could still change. Or then there's the places that don't even make sense, houses that no longer stand, people that no longer live, rooms that could never exist in the real world. And then I awake not only confused with why my reality has become so complex, but also with the question as to why my mind also continues to mess with me along with reality. It's almost like I'm living in a blur, all day and all night. I sleep to get away from reality, I wake to run from the nightmares. And all day long safe from everyone else, even my mind is running wild. Telling me I'm doing the wrong thing, questioning each and everything I do, I've done, I am about to do. I'm so lost in time right now I don't even know if there is a way to find my way out. Today, I will walk around campus with the images from my mind last night, I will ponder their meaning, I will shift around storylines, I will run the scenes through my head a million times. And I will discuss moving plans, and house situations and deal with a million people who can hardly control their own lives, let alone help me with mine. And at the end of the day, when I am exhausted from all of this, then I will do it all over again. And hopefully if I do this long enough, one day when I wake up I will feel relieved, happy, content. I will be happy with the sweet dreams of the evening before, I will be excited to start another day. I will be waiting for that.....I'll let you know when I get there.